What a Golden Gate Bridge Officer Taught Me About Listening
Officer Kevin Briggs saved over 200 lives on the Golden Gate Bridge. His method wasn't complicated. He listened. What leaders can learn from 92 minutes of presence.
Officer Kevin Briggs spent ten years patrolling the Golden Gate Bridge as a motorcycle cop for the California Highway Patrol. It wasn't a beat anyone was lining up for.
Over those ten years, he encountered more than 200 people ready to end their lives. He helped all but two of them. But he never described what he did as "saving" them. He said he "helped them start the process of saving themselves."
His method wasn't complicated. It wasn't a technique he learned from a leadership seminar or a crisis intervention manual.
He listened.
Ninety-Two Minutes That Changed Everything
It was March 10, 2005. A twenty-two-year-old man named Kevin Berthia walked forty minutes to the Golden Gate Bridge. Every painful moment of his life had collided on that single day — crippling medical debt from his daughter's premature birth, a job loss, a broken relationship, and mental health battles he'd been fighting since childhood.
He found himself standing on the wrong side of the railing.
Officer Briggs spotted him near the North Tower, still on his cell phone. The moment Berthia saw the officer, he climbed over the rail. Briggs introduced himself and asked permission to walk a little closer.
What happened next lasted ninety-two minutes.
Briggs didn't offer platitudes. He didn't give advice. He didn't promise that everything would be OK. He simply listened. He let Berthia talk about his daughter who was nearing her first birthday, about the debt, about the pain, about all of it. At one point, Briggs sensed Berthia needed space to think, so he backed up fifteen feet and gave him room.
Eventually, Berthia agreed to come back over the rail.
Years later, when asked what ultimately got through to him — what saved his life — Berthia's answer was stunning in its simplicity. It wasn't hearing about his daughter's birthday. It wasn't fear of death. He looked Officer Briggs in the eye and said: "You listened to me."
That's it. Being heard — truly heard — for what may have been the first time in his life made Kevin Berthia feel like he was enough.
Why We've Forgotten How to Listen
I share this story in nearly every keynote I deliver because it illustrates something we've almost completely lost in modern life: the ability to be fully present with another human being.
Think about the last conversation you had. Were you actually listening, or were you waiting for your turn to talk? Were you looking the person in the eye, or were you glancing at your phone? Were you absorbing what they were saying, or were you mentally composing your response?
Be honest. I have to be honest about it, too, because I've been guilty of all of it.
We live in a world of relentless distraction. The average person touches their phone 2,617 times a day. We unlock it 150 times. We spend over six hours daily on screens. And every time we reach for that device in the middle of a conversation, we send a message louder than anything we could say with words: You are not as important as whatever is on this screen.
Our kids see it. Our spouses feel it. Our coworkers know it.
And the people around us who are carrying something heavy — the colleague who's dealing with a sick parent, the team member whose marriage is falling apart, the friend who is silently spiraling — they see our distraction and conclude that nobody cares enough to listen.
So they say "I'm fine." And they carry it alone.
Listening Is a Leadership Skill
Here's what Officer Briggs understood that most leaders miss: listening isn't passive. It's one of the most active, courageous, and impactful things you can do.
When you truly listen to someone — when you look them in the eye, put everything else away, and give them your complete attention — you communicate something words can't: You matter. Your story matters. You are worth my time.
That message is more powerful than any performance review, any bonus, any promotion. Because what people are really looking for isn't a bigger title or a higher salary. They're looking for the feeling that they are enough. And that feeling comes through human connection — through being genuinely seen and heard.
From my own experience and from hosting over 150 conversations on my Counsel Culture podcast, I've noticed that the greatest leaders all share one trait: they listen extraordinarily well. Not as a technique, but as a way of being.
Here's what listening well looks like in practice:
Look people in the eyes. Not at your laptop, not at your phone, not over their shoulder at who just walked in. Eye contact tells the other person that you aren't just hearing them — you're listening.
Resist the fix. When someone shares a problem, the instinct is to solve it. Fight that instinct. Most of the time, people don't need your solution. They need to feel heard. Officer Briggs didn't solve Kevin Berthia's problems. He created space for Berthia to feel seen.
Let silence do its work. We're uncomfortable with silence, so we fill it. Don't. Sometimes the most important things a person says come after the pause — the moment they decide to share something they weren't sure they would.
Ask the second question. "How are you?" gets "fine." Follow it with, "No, really — how are you doing?" That second question tells people you actually want to know.
The Ripple Effect
Kevin Berthia is alive today. He and Officer Briggs remain connected. Berthia now shares his story to help others who are in the darkness he once knew.
One act of listening created a ripple that will extend for generations — through Berthia's daughter, through every person he reaches with his story, through every life touched by someone who heard his message and decided to listen a little more carefully to the people around them.
You and I may never find ourselves on the Golden Gate Bridge. But every single day, we encounter people who are carrying something heavy. People at the grocery store, in our office, at our dinner table, in our homes.
The question is whether we're present enough to notice. And whether we're willing to put everything else down and simply listen.
The little things don't mean a lot. The little things mean everything.
And listening — truly listening — might be the most important little thing you ever do.
Frequently Asked Questions
How can I become a better listener as a leader?
Start with one practical change: put your phone away during every one-on-one conversation for a week. Look the person in the eyes and focus entirely on what they're saying. Resist the urge to problem-solve or redirect. You'll be surprised at how much deeper your conversations become and how much more your team trusts you.
What's the difference between hearing and listening?
Hearing is passive — it's the sound entering your ears. Listening is active — it's the choice to fully engage with another person's words, emotions, and unspoken meaning. Listening requires presence, attention, and the willingness to put your own agenda aside.
Can better listening actually improve business outcomes?
Absolutely. When people feel heard, they share more openly — including concerns, ideas, and early warning signs that can save projects, retain clients, and prevent costly mistakes. Listening builds the trust that fuels high-performing teams.